The Pleasures of Infidelity
by S. E. Bode
Summary: Jesse and Suze have been married for ten years, ten long years for Suze who is realizing that her life is not what she wants.  She’s hopeless until the steamy Paul crashes into her life again.  Will Suze’s infidelity bring her happiness?
1. The Initiation

THE PLEASURES OF INFIDELITY

**Summary**: Jesse and Suze have been married for ten years, ten long years for Suze who is realizing that her life is not what she wants. She's hopeless until the steamy Paul crashes into her life again. Will Suze's infidelity bring her happiness?

Chapter 1: The Initiation 

Ten years—ten years of her youth gone. Suze shook her head to herself at the thought. Today was their tenth anniversary, and she knew Jesse wouldn't forget. She knew he would have something special planned, followed by gentle, predictable sex. It was always the same. She was thirty-one and tired of her husband. The love of her life was predictable, her life was predictable. Her body was tired of it and ready for something more. But how could she tell Jesse what she was feeling?

She loved him more than anything on this plane, but it was boring. He worked, she worked minimally, which was all he would let her do. Jesse cooked, cleaned, he did everything, leaving her with nothing to do except draw up silly designs for clothes and then sew a couple of things up and send them away to the manufacturers. It was pitiful how pampered she was. It might have seemed like the perfect life to her ten years ago. However, now that she was living it, she hated him for it.

And it didn't help that they couldn't get pregnant. Every time they had sex (which was not often anymore) a month later, Jesse would carefully ask her the question. Always the answer would be no. The last time had definitely been the worst out of all the times before.

………

Suze had been in the bathroom unwrapping a tampon, when Jesse had poked his head inside and just looked at her.

"So I guess it didn't happen?" He said his eyes downcast, his voice shadowed by disappointment.

"No, Jesse, it didn't happen this time, alright?" Suze had said, her voice raised with frustration. "It never happens!"

Jesse looked over at her from the doorway. "It will, Susannah; it will happen."

"How can you be so sure, Jesse? Seriously? I'm so sick of this! Something's obviously wrong, why don't we go to the doctor, or just adopt?"

"Susannah, things like this just take time."

"We're not in 1850 anymore! Doctors can tell us what's wrong. There are millions of kids without parents, shelter or food!"

"We just need time," he said while looking away from her, hurt in his eyes.

"Why do you keep on blaming me, Jesse? How do you always blame me for this? For not being able to get pregnant? I'm getting old. I'm thirty-fucking-one, and I can't wait any longer!" Suze had yelled from the toilet; her sweaty hands gripping the plastic applicator of the tampon.

"I don't blame you, Susannah."

"Bullshit. You blame me. I can see it in your eyes. Every time we do this damned dance, I see it in your eyes. The blame—it's overwhelming and unnecessary! Doctor's can help me. You of all people should know that; you went to medical school!"

"We have time, Susannah," Jesse said again while turning away from her.

"No I fucking don't!" Suze cried from the toilet and then with hatred ringing through her, she chucked the tampon towards him. He simply closed the door behind him and the tampon clicked softly against the closed door. "I hate you," Suze whispered while a tear slipped down her soft, pink cheek.

…….

Driving carefully through the traffic, Suze stopped at a stop-light and closed her eyes. Tonight would be difficult to get through. All the romantic stuff would remind her of what it used to be like, and the sex would put so much pressure on her that she wouldn't be able to handle it. She opened her eyes and decided to make a quick stop at the drug-store.

Pulling into the Rite-Aid down a couple blocks from their house, Suze tried to keep herself from crying. She shut off the car and walked into the florescent-lit shop. Embarrassed, she walked through the aisles quickly until she found the Benadryl. This stuff always made her feel like she was high—numb and giggly. This would make tonight a haze, she thought while walking back down the aisles towards the bottled water.

She turned the box over in her hands and rounded the corner of the aisle. _Smack!_ Suze ran right into somebody and sent their stuff flying all over the place. Rubbing her hands, Suze quickly bent down to pick up some of the stuff she had knocked over. Standing up again, she looked at the person who she had knocked into.

His perfect blond curls brushed against his face and his dark suit stood in stark contrast against his tanned skin. Then she gasped.

"Suze, what a pleasure to see you," he said while pulling her into a hug.

She could barely believe who it was, that she couldn't say anything in response.

"How have you been, Suze?" He asked her while shuffling the stuff around in his arms.

All she could do was stare at him.

"Suze?" He asked with concern gracing his features.

"Yeah…sorry. I'm just so surprised to see you, Paul." Suze said while offering him a small smile.

"Me too. I figured you'd still live in Carmel, but I've only been here for a couple of days—just got in from the east coast."

"Did you move here or are you just visiting?" Suze asked while turning the box of Benadryl over in her hands.

"I've just moved back over here, the firm I'm with decided I was better over here. Something of an appearance thing apparently." Paul shook his head, and the curls bounced around his jovial face.

"Wow. How does it feel to be back in Carmel?"

"I've been lonely, but now it feels great!" Paul said, showing Suze that he still had his devilish charms. "How have you been?"

"Fine. Keeping busy with my designs. Jesse's been busy at the hospital in Big Sur."

"Everything going alright with you and Jesse?" Paul asked seeming innocent.

"Yes," Suze said in a voice which didn't even convince herself, but she was hoping Paul wouldn't read too much into it.

"That's wonderful," he said while smiling down at her. His teeth gleaming in the florescent lights. His eyes wondered down to her hands, and he looked back up at her.

"Got a summer cold?"

"What?"

"Benadryl?" He asked.

"Oh, um," Suze stalled, trying to figure out what to say. Embarrassment flooded her and all she could think about was the depressing truth. "Kind of."

"Sorry to hear that," Paul said while placing a hand lightly on her shoulder. "Well now that we've seen each other, why don't I take you and Jesse out to dinner to catch up?"

Suze looked up at him in disbelief. This was the man who had done everything he could to try and ruin any chances Jesse and Suze had when their relationship was just beginning. This was the jealous and eager man who was vicious and unforgiving. But oh was he still handsome and charming.

"I don't know about—" Suze began to say.

"Aw, come on, Suze, I know what I did to you guys when we were younger is inexcusable, but I really would like to try and make amends. Please? Just dinner, you, me, and Jesse. No dangers from my end, promise." Paul said while taking his hand off of her shoulder and looking down at her sincerely.

"Alright. I'll say something to Jesse." Suze told him, but knew that she wouldn't dare breathe a word about Paul's new residence in Carmel to him. "Why don't you give me your cell number and I'll call you sometime next week?" Suze offered.

"Wonderful," Paul said while Suze took out her cell and quickly typed in the number Paul recited to her. "I can't wait until we get to catch up. I better not keep you any longer." He smiled down at her and then began to walk away.

"I'll call you," Suze said, wondering why she felt the need to reassure him.

"Good," Paul said while looking over his shoulder at her, sending shivers down her spine. She walked up to the front quickly, forgetting about the bottled water, and paid for her escape drug.

……..

Jesse had pulled out all the stops for tonight. Reservations at her favorite restaurant, a moonlit walk on the uninhabited beach, and a beautiful new diamond necklace. Getting back to the house, Jesse opened Suze's car door for her and walked her into the house. He kissed her there on the doorstep, while pulling out his keys from his pocket. Suze looked up at him when he was done, not even realizing that he had left her lips. The Benadryl sure was working. Excellent.

After closing the door, Jesse held Suze tight around her waist, and kissed her more passionately. "I'm so happy that you're my wife," he said, while leading her up the stairs to their bedroom. His words seemed genuine, but Suze found herself wishing that they were empty.

Once inside their bedroom, Jesse began undressing himself and Suze did the same, mentally preparing herself for the disappointing sex about to come. Jesse came at Suze, gently, his lips caressing her neck, shoulders, and arms. Twenty minutes of kissing, all clean—lips, appendages, nothing dirty. Then his underwear came off and so did hers and the next two minutes would be quiet and motionless on her part. Jesse would ride her, staring into her eyes, while she wished that she was some place else. Then, when he was done, he would roll off of her and hold her gently while whispering how much he loved her. Suze remained quiet and then excused herself and slipped into the shower, where she could cry without being heard.


	2. The Catalyst

Chapter 2: The Catalyst

The morning after, Suze awoke to find herself alone in bed—just like every other morning. Jesse was already out of the house, not bothering to wake her up. She padded down to the kitchen, where she saw a note saying that her breakfast was in the refrigerator, ready to re-heat and saying that he loved her. Suze crumpled the note and threw away the food, not feeling hungry. She wandered into her office and stared at the new designs she had been stuck on. After an hour of getting nothing done and endless thinking, her cell hummed and she grabbed it, hoping that it was one of the girls offering a distraction. Instead she found it was Jesse. She let it vibrate and then click over to voicemail. Holding the phone in her hands, Suze clicked around for a couple moments, stalling to listen to the message. Scrolling through her phonebook, Suze saw Paul's name and her heart skipped a beat. He could be her escape for the day.

Inspired, Suze called her voicemail only to find out that a conference had come up and Jesse was leaving after lunch for San Francisco for two days. He told her that he was sorry and that he loved her. Suze hastily deleted it, wondering what she was going to wear when she met up with Paul. Clicking over to her phonebook, Suze selected Paul's number and waited while it rang.

Finally there was a "hello?"

"Paul?"

"Suze! What a pleasure. How are you this morning?" Paul asked.

"I hope I didn't wake you."

"Are you kidding me. I've been getting up at 6AM since freshman year of college. Haven't broken the habit, yet." Paul joked.

"Oh, well I was thinking about your offer on dinner. And sadly, Jesse is going out of town for a conference in San Francisco, but I was wondering if you wouldn't mind just the two of us."

"That's fine," Paul said.

"Are you busy tonight?" Suze asked hopefully.

"Now I am. Why don't we meet somewhere? What time is good for you and I'll make reservations?"

"How about seven o'clock at Latitudes?"

"Sounds wonderful. I'll see you there at seven."

"Alright, good-bye, Paul."

"Good-bye Suze."

……………

She was plucked, exfoliated, shaved, moused, and done up at six, and had yet to decide on what she was going to wear. Standing in front of her closet, in her best and most flattering underwear, she flipped through some of last years' shirts, until her eyes landed on the perfect sundress that she had designed three years ago. Complete with her wrap around wedges, which she hadn't worn in ages, the white sundress made her look younger and innocent.

She whistled while looking in the mirror and then looked at the time. _Shit_, she was running late. Dashing to her car, she rushed to the restaurant, which was a good twenty minutes away. She found a parking space and walked briskly to the front of the restaurant where she found Paul waiting in a different dark suit. His steel blue shirt and silver tie captured his mysteriousness by complimenting the color of his eyes, which smiled as she approached him. She felt sexy for some reason and liked how he looked at her with admiration.

"You look lovely," Paul said while leading her into the restaurant with one hand opening the door and the other guiding her resting on her back. The touch was sensual, for her at least and it made her shiver.

Once they were at their table, menus in front of them and drinks on their way, Paul looked over at Suze and they began chatting. He seemed interested in what Jesse was doing and how Suze was doing with her designing. When she mentioned that she had designed the dress she was wearing, he commented that she looked beautiful in it. When she blushed and said comments were not necessary, he shook his head and called her stubborn.

They ordered and settled into more conversation. She quizzed him on his _East Coast_ life, on love interests, and easy lays. Then came nostalgia of Carmel life as teenagers. When the food came, Suze felt herself loosing the inside battle to trust Paul again. He had changed, she could tell that. He had matured, but remained charming and dangerous in an emotional way.

They ate and drank and talked some more, and allowed the sun to dip into the ocean and the moon rise. Finally when it was ten o'clock, Paul asked for the check and they had a meaningless fight over the bill, which Paul won. Paul walked her to her car and they stopped and chatted some more. When the conversation had died out, Paul leaned down and kissed Suze on the cheek politely and said, "I'm glad you called me. This was nice. You're even more lovely than when I left." He looked down upon her and smiled.

Suze thought about what he had said. It was something she had expected him to try and go for, but not like this. Not with kindness. Kindness was a Jesse thing, never a Paul thing. Paul was always trying to get into her pants whether she wanted him to or not. And tonight, it seemed as if he wasn't trying to get into her pants at all! It was as if he was genuinely being nice. That realization made her want him so bad. The fact that he didn't seem to want her, made her want him. The hormones were getting to her badly.

"Should I call you, or would you like to—" Suze cut him off, while she pressed her hot lips against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tasted the alcohol tinting his lips. He accepted her quickly with opened arms. She knew the alcohol was affecting her, and she was damned happy about it. Paul pulled away quickly and that moment made Suze's breath catch.

"Suze? Do you know what you're doing?" Paul asked her, while holding her wrist tight to keep her away from him.

"I have an idea." Suze replied with a sultry smile. Continuing to look down at her, Suze looked into Paul's eyes and saw the lust he had been trying to hide throughout dinner.

"Suze, you know I want you. And I know you want me. And I also know you're married." Paul said this, stopped and thought about it for a second. He stalled for a couple of moments, while Suze played with the tip of his tie. Soon she moved onto his belt buckle. If he didn't stop her she would be out of control. They needed to get some place private now.

"Your place, now," Suze said while placing her keys into his palm and turning on her heel to get into the passenger seat of her car.

…………

Paul pulled into his driveway and turned off the ignition. The girl of his dreams was sitting only a foot away dying to touch him. _Was this real?_ Suze took the keys from his opened hand, then turned and gently got out of the car, shutting the door behind her silently. She came around, staring right into his eyes and opened his door. All Paul could do was stare at the beautiful woman of his dreams from all these years ago. Finally, he was getting her and yet he couldn't move. What the hell was wrong with him? Suze grabbed Paul's tie, leading him out of the car. Paul idly shut the door behind him, not able to take his eyes off of Suze's. She was even more seductive than he remembered. She was teasing him worse than she had ever teased him. But this time it was all intentional and he reveled in that fact.

Taking his keys out of his pocket, Paul walked up the stairs and struggled with the lock, while Suze's hot palms danced on his heaving chest.

"Hurry," Suze whispered into his ear as Paul fiddled with the keys again. It didn't help that when she licked his ear with her hot tongue that he missed the lock completely and dropped the keys. Moaning, Paul bent over quickly to retrieve them. Mere moments later, as if by some miracle, Paul got the door open. Entwined, Suze and Paul toppled through the doorway, slamming the door behind them.

The slam of the door seemed to sober Paul up a bit. Suze pulled away from him, looking up at him with pure lust gleaming in her eyes. Reaching for the wall, Paul flicked on the dim lights. Suze's hair shimmered and her emerald eyes winked back at him. This was the night he had been looking forward to since the moment they had met. Paul wanted to cherish every luscious, ever-loving second.

He walked towards her then slowly touched her with outstretched fingers. He wanted to go slow, but he knew that once he got started, he wouldn't be able to slow any part of himself down. But hopefully, he thought, there would be more time for slow.

"Bedroom?" Suze hoarsely moaned, while his fingers brushed over her ears. Her eyes were closed and she was leaning into him.

"No." Paul said with finality. If this was going to be fast, it was going to be memorable. Not in some bed with 400 count sheets. The sheets could wait. He wanted their groundbreaking sex to be in the kitchen. "Kitchen."

Suze pulled away, her eyes slipping open. "The kitchen?" She said in almost disbelief.

"Have you ever had sex in a kitchen?"

"No. People do that?"

Paul looked down at her. _Goddamn de Silva_, he thought. _Wasting a beautiful, sexual, dynamite woman in only a bed. They could be having all kinds of fun. But no, his 1850's ass has to play it safe. No wonder she came looking for me._

"Yes, Suze. And this is my gift to you. The kitchen." With that, Paul took her hands and led her into his magnificent kitchen, with marble counters and state-of-the-art appliances. Not that any of that mattered to them now.

"What about protection?" Suze asked. "I'm not on the pill."

"I have condoms. We don't want to take any chances." Paul said, the sudden pang of jealousy for Jesse kicking him in the gut. Jesse was the one who was going to have a family with this woman. Paul might get to sleep with her once or twice, and hopefully more, but Jesse was the one that was her future. As he turned to go up to his bathroom, Suze caught his sleeve and pulled him back, catching his lips in a steamy embrace that Paul wanted to last a lifetime.

As she pulled away, she whispered, "Bring lots."


	3. The Acts

Chapter 3: The Act(s)

Suze was fighting all her hormones not to follow Paul up the stairs and fuck him right then and there. He was coming back down, with the condoms, and then they were going to have sex. Sex that Suze had always hoped for with Jesse. Hot, unadulterated, any way, anywhere sex. She fought the urge to strip down naked and jump up on the counter, while he was away, instead wanting him to be the one to peel off her clothes already wet with sweat.

She heard something drop, make a crashing sound, and then a string of cuss words after that. Not long after, Paul came rushing in with a value box of Trojans in hand, his shirt and tie missing. His pants and shoes were still on. Paul came over to her and kissed her hard on the mouth, pressing one condom into her hand. Then his hands came upon her shoulders and started slipping her dress off.

The soft skin of her shoulders caressed Paul's palms and made him shiver in anticipation. Still kissing her, Paul slipped the wisp of a dress off. He pulled away from their kiss and looked at her, standing in the middle of the kitchen. Suze's dress pooled around her heeled feet. Standing there in her three inch, tie up, fuck-me heels and sexy lingerie made Paul instantly hard. While he stood there looking at her, his mouth agape, Suze slipped her hands behind her back and unclasped her bra.

The second her bra hit the floor, Paul's mouth was on Suze's—his hands playing with her erect nipples. Already Suze was bursting with pleasure she had never felt before, but had always dreamed of. He pushed her up against the counter roughly, both of them breathing hard. The coolness of the marble shocked her sensitive skin and made her gasp into Paul's mouth.

Scooping her up, Paul plopped her on the counter, his fingers lingering on her hips. Suze allowed her hands to drift towards Paul's belt buckle, which she quickly undid, followed by the button and the zipper. Her nimble fingers slipped inside his boxers and ran along the length of him. He shivered, rocking on the balls of his feet towards her. But all too quickly, she pulled her hand away. Paul looked down at Suze intensely and then pulled her underwear off, managing to pull his down as well before Suze could even register how cold the marble was against her bare cheeks.

After kissing her hard on the mouth, Paul said roughly, "Put it on." Suze obliged and opened the package, then carefully slipped it onto him. He shivered again and looked down at her. Once everything was in order, Paul pulled Suze towards him by her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began peppering his hairline with kisses.

She felt the tip of him; then the moment Paul caught her mouth in his, he pushed into her. Suze could feel the explosion as he rocked into her again and again. Almost immediately she came, in great, sobbing waves. She clutched to him, as he moved faster and faster into her. He didn't stop at any time to ask if she was comfortable, he just did his own thing, pleasing her and himself all at the same time, without hurting her. Jesse could never just take care of himself and his needs, it always had to be her. All the time, Jesse catered to her—pushing his own opinions about what she wanted on her.

Suze kept her eyes shut, feeling more connected with any human being she had been before. Paul grunted and Suze moaned as she felt another orgasm peaking within her. _Was this possible?_ Then, she felt Paul heave and shiver within her, and she rode her own ecstasy waves, right up against him. His head collapsed into the nook of her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her.

"Oh Suze," he whispered, kissing her skin softly. "Oh Suze, I've been waiting so long." Paul lifted his head up and kissed Suze softly on the lips.

Suze took control of the kiss, suddenly wanting to do the whole thing over again. Aggressively she took Paul's gorgeous head of hair in her hands and pulled his mouth closer to hers.

"I want you again," she whispered into his ear after licking it kinkily. Suze could feel his smile against her cheek. "And again, and again, and again."

………….

Paul took Suze up to his bedroom in his arms and ravished her, the "proper" way, while doing some very improper things, which made Suze moan like the whore she wanted to be with him. She came, wave after wave of pure delightful ecstasy.

"Dear God," Paul said hoarsely while he rolled off of Suze and onto the bed beside her.

"Have I worn the Poor Slater out?" Suze teased while moving onto her side, and beginning to trace the planes of his chest lightly with her fingertips. Her voice was sexy and sultry; it was low, meant only for him to hear.

Paul didn't find it at all funny. He had climaxed four times in a row in less than half an hour. He needed at least a ten-minute break. _If that_, he thought haughtily. It wasn't fair; females could just plow right on, one orgasm after the other until they died of starvation. Paul grunted to make some sort of response, then gazed up at Suze's angelic face. It was still framed by the same beautiful chestnut hair, which grazed her shoulders in a soft, chic cut. Her skin was soft and creamy, just like he had always imagined.

Suze's fingers drifted across his stomach to his hand. She played within his palm for a while and then glided up his arm to his shoulder. There, her lips picked up while her fingers ran through his sweaty hair. Kissing his neck softly, Suze began to suck and Paul went immediately hard. _So much for needing a break, buddy._

While her hands moved down the planes of his stomach towards his waist, her lips moved to his, landing hard, tongue demanding entrance. "I need you, Slater," she whispered. Her fingers found him and began stroking him teasingly.

"I need you _to-O-o,_ Simon," Paul struggled to say when Suze surprisingly gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Say my name again," Suze demanded while circling the tip of him with the tip of her finger.

"Simon."

With that, Suze smiled and drifted downwards. Stunned, Paul waited in silence. Then her mouth picked up where her fingers left off. He nearly exploded right then, but he restrained himself, knowing that he wanted this to last for as long as he could fight it for.

Sure, he had had blowjobs before—silly assistant bimbos and female college professors who wanted desperately to explore Paul's anatomy. His first ones had really _blown_ and not in the good way. Kelly was nothing to brag about, and Paul tried not to think or mention her at all when nostalgia of those teenage years was brought up.

Fighting back the urge to come, Paul bit into his lips, and gripped Suze's shoulders hard. Up and down, her sultry mouth went. Then it went around. He moaned, knowing that release was inevitably coming soon. He looked down at her and saw that she was looking up at him. Their eyes locked for only a second before his head snapped back as he climaxed.

After some more romping around in the bed, Suze decided to leave Paul to rest. She looked down at him, sprawled across the bed, naked and sweaty. He was gorgeous and foreign, but so familiar. She stared at him some more and then sank into the comfy bed right next to him. After a moment of settling in, Paul's arm came around her and he molded perfectly against her rear. And it was right then that Suze felt like crying.

………..

Paul awoke the next morning to find Suze asleep within the circle of his strong arms. She was snoring softly, a piece of her chestnut hair moving with her constant breathing. He looked down her body in the morning light, which was even more flattering to her attributes. Her breasts heaved slowly against his sheets and her legs were entwined with his. Staring at her for a few moments, Paul thought about the first time he had met Suze and with that came their entire history. And with that came thoughts of Jesse.

_Fuck_, Paul thought. Now he felt dirty. They had just committed adultery—something he'd done before with one of his cute young assistants. Then it had been nothing, he didn't know the guy or the girl personally. He had just needed an easy lay, which he got, as always. But with Suze and Jesse it was personal to all parties concerned. Sleeping with Suze had been wonderful, all six times. But now he felt like a filthy, horrible, scumbag. What if Suze got up and felt regret. Wouldn't that be a living hell to have to deal through all that awkwardness? Then what if Jesse found out? _Oh holy shit_, Paul did not want to think about that. His free hand came up to his head and rubbed his temples. Now he had a headache. _Wonderful._

He carefully dealt with Suze's head and headed for the shower. He felt sticky with dried sweat; a good hot shower would help clear his head. Turning on the water, Paul let it heat up and checked on Suze again. She was still sleeping, which was good, because he didn't want to wake her. He wanted to enjoy his shower before all the fucking shit came flying at him this morning, spinning him into an even further crappy mood. Stepping into his shower, Paul inhaled the steam and instantly felt his head clear. The water poured over the flat planes of his body, making everything disappear momentarily.

Hands suddenly came around his waist and Paul jumped forward, startled out of his thoughts.

"Good morning," Suze said while stepping under the water current with Paul. She smiled at him. _That must be a good sign, yeah?_ He thought and returned the smile. Her lips came up to meet his eagerly.

Pulling away from her intoxicating lips, Paul looked down at her, her hair already damp and her body glistening with water. "Good morning, Suze." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "I have to be in at work at around eleven."

"Really?" Suze asked as her hands drifted across his naked chest and into his soaked hair.

"Yeah. Three whole hours until I have to be at work," Paul said while Suze pulled his head closer to hers.

"Isn't that wonderful?"

"I would say so." Paul kissed Suze hard, while his hands drifted down, bringing her closer to him. He gripped her ass, making her flush against him. The water poured down around them, sending them into an isolated state. Just the two of them, kissing intensely, wrapped around each other.

"Make love to me again." Suze demanded into Paul's ear.

"I'd like nothing better." Paul hoisted Suze up against the stone shower wall and pressed his lips against her neck. She wrapped her legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders to steady herself. Suze could feel him already hard against her inner thigh. She let her head roll back against the cool stone, the water hitting her face gently, rolling down her neck where Paul was kissing with his hungry lips.

His one free hand came up and grazed her breast, brushing the nipple. Instantly, Suze could feel the fire building within her. Her nipple stood erect, waiting more torment. Paul took it in his mouth and rolled it around with his tongue. Suze gripped the top of his head, her fingers sinking into his hair. Moaning heavily, Suze wanted him now.

Paul continued to torture her slowly with his mouth dancing around her skin, until Suze pulled his head up and locked her eyes with his. "Now, Slater, or God help me."

He smiled at her then, all cockily, knowing full well the effects he was having on her. It was infuriating but bloody wonderful all at the same time. Suze pulled him closer, and his lips came crashing down on hers, while his hand guided him into her.

Pushing in, Suze cried out as her hands dug into Paul's shoulders.

"Simon," Paul whispered into her ear, as he pulled out and plunged in again. She whimpered and shuddered, her whole body awake to the sensations he was forcing her through. His hands held her up against the wall, grasping her bottom tightly; her hands atop his shoulders, digging into his muscular flesh. In and out, he went, the water pouring over the pair of them, keeping them in an alienated world all their own.

Then she came and he followed, his head sliding back as she cradled it with her gentle hands. As his eyes slipped open, he looked up at her with an intoxicated smile. She smiled down at him, just as happy as she imagined he was.

"Three whole hours, huh, Slater?" She asked him flirtatiously.


	4. The Nostalgia

AN: As bbblfl commented, I know this does not seem all that realistic in the number of times they have sex, but I'm struggling with the writing thing and plus, who doesn't want to imagine that something like this could actually happen? So sorry about that.

Chapter 4: The Nostalgia

Paul was downstairs in the kitchen, thinking about the way Suze's face looked in the morning sun while making toast and coffee for the pair of them. He had been so distracted, with the image of her face dancing in his thoughts the first time, he had burnt the toast. Now however, he was being more careful, checking on it every ten seconds or so. The coffee was done, in mugs and everything. All he was waiting for was the damn toast, which needed to be buttered. Then he could be with her again. Just being in the same room with her—her eyes fixated on him was enough. Touching was wonderful, but just getting to look at her again was a blessing he never thought would be possible. He knew sex with Suze would be hot and intoxicating, but he hadn't thought it would affect him this much. Paul was beginning to think he was in love.

_Fuck!_ Paul smelt the toast burning again, but he got it out just in time, slapping it onto the blue glass plates he had set out. He quickly took a butter knife to each slice, four in all, wanting to get back up those stairs. Finally done, he balanced the plates and mugs in both hands and walked as quickly as he thought he could afford back to his bedroom. The door was ajar and as he walked in he saw Suze emerging from the bathroom, her bare back glistening from the sun streaming in through the open blinds. Her hair was darker from the water and her breasts were bouncing with each gentle step she took. Paul took a sudden inhale from the sight of her and it took all he could to restrain himself from dropping what he had in his hands and jumping her.

"Mmmm, that smells wonderful, Paul," Suze said while walking over to him nice and slow, still naked and beautiful as hell. Her sultry walk brought her close to him, and she teased him with the lightest of kisses as she took one of the plates from his hand followed by a mug. Smiling, she went back to the bed and sat down, not minding a bit that she was completely naked. Paul followed in sort of a daze. What the hell was wrong with him? He had made love to this woman all night and just this morning. Shouldn't he be used to her body by now? But every time his eyes too a look he found something new that fascinated him. Paul was just looking at the birthmark on the back of her hip while struggling to take a bite of toast when Suze asked, "What do you think it's like to have sex in Shadowland?"

He choked on his toast. Once his coughing fit was over, he whispered, "What?"

"Have sex in Shadowland. You ever do it?"

"No."

"Ever thought about it?"

"No."

"Oh come on, you a horny teenager, keen on getting your rocks off with me, never thought about a secluded place we could get it on together?"

"Well of course I thought about things like that, but Shadowland never crossed my mind."

"And why not?" Suze asked accusatory while taking another bite of her second piece of toast.

"I don't know. It just never crossed my mind. I was and am cocky, but I never truly believed that I would ever be good enough to fully have you the way I wanted. Somehow I always knew I couldn't have you, despite my many aggressive attempts." Paul ended and then drowned himself with a long swig of coffee.

Suze finished her toast and then set down her plate on the table. Then she sat there sipping her coffee while Paul finished his toast. Once he was done, she took his plate and mug and set them on the table, followed by her empty mug.

"I never thought I would have you, Suze," Paul said again, letting his eyes drop from their gazing upon her skin.

"I never thought you would either," she said while inching towards him, burning to touch his hot skin again. For some reason, Paul had awakened her passion and was fueling it constantly. With just a look from him, Suze could get hot and bothered. And by the way Paul had been looking over at her while they had been eating gave her all the more reason to enjoy the pleasures she had been once again. She reached out and brushed her fingers over Paul's naked shoulder. Her touch made Paul shiver, and soon his hand came out to touch her.

Paul's mouth fell roughly onto hers, demanding entrance with the posing question, _Can I have you again?_

"Yes," Suze moaned and then rolled Paul over onto his back and straddled his waist. She flipped her hair over, out of her eyes, a movement which made her breasts bounce, catching Paul's attention. While Suze's mouth played with Paul's, Paul played with her breasts, rolling her nipples around between his fingers, pulling them gently and occasionally tearing his mouth away from Suze's to suck them. By the time, Paul's mouth came off of her tender skin, she was about to come. Merely inches away from the explosion which sent her reeling into a whole new world of sensations.

Then Paul rolled Suze over and held her hands up over her head, stretching her body beneath him. He kept her hands held hard against the soft bed, while his mouth moved down her hot body. Then his other hand began to roughly play with her nipples sending fireworks straight down between her legs. Stars seemed to splay in front of her eyes and she struggled to remember to breath between all the sensations he was plowing her body through. As his mouth moved down her body, Suze failed to see where he was going, too distracted from his hand upon her soft, skinned breast. Then she felt his tongue upon her most private of parts. His tongue lapped at her, his lips teasing her. Instantaneously her head snapped back, her eyes wide open from the pure pleasure of it all.

"Slater!" She screamed as he began to suck her clitoris, allowing his teeth to graze her gently, making a huge impression of sensations pulse through her. Then his tongue rolled around inside of her, making her moan over and over again, asking him to stop, to go on, to do it already. "Please Paul, you're killing me," she moaned in a hoarse voice, overshadowed with pure ecstasy.

Sliding his finger into her, Paul continued to suck around her clitoris, loving the way she tasted under him, moaning uncontrollably, arching her back without a thought to it. Then as his finger began to move within her, her eyes shot open, her body seized up and then she began to sob. Great big sobs as she rode the waves of her orgasm. He came up from between her legs and held her to his chest, stroking her hair, kissing the tears off of her cheeks.

When Suze finally settled down, she looked up at him, exhaustion filling her wet eyes. "Thank you," she said quietly and then closed her eyes and fell limp in his arms.

Paul sat there holding her, while she slept for as long as he could before he had to get up to begin getting ready for work. He needed a cold shower and a shave. He needed another cup of coffee too. Putting her softly down on his bed and tucking her in, Paul stared down at her. Suze was curled up on her side, hands under her chin. Paul thought she looked vulnerable and young. Only when she was awake could she put up the façade of toughness. Seeing her at some kind of peace, put his at ease. He took a shower as quietly as he could, letting the cold water pour down around him while he tried not to think about what he and Suze had been doing in there only an hour ago.

While toweling off, Paul remembered that his car was left in the restaurant's parking lot. He would have to call a driver from the firm to come and pick him up. Paul wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out of his bathroom, being sure to rummage through the debris of last night quietly.

"Shit," Paul mumbled to himself, when he didn't find his pants anywhere in the bedroom. He padded downstairs, back into the kitchen and found his pants lying by the edge of the counter on the floor, wrapped around Suze's white dress. Picking them up, he found his cell phone and called the firm, asking for a driver in an hour. Once that was done, Paul dragged a hand through his hair and sighed. The past twelve hours had been magical, but for some reason, Paul knew that it was unlikely to happen again. The realization hit him hard, square in the chest and he actually gasped. Crawling over to his coffee maker, Paul filled up another mug and drained it. To get through today, he would need all of his strength. Trying to not think about Suze would be harder than anything he had ever done in his life.

While rinsing out the cup, Paul thought about what Suze had said about Shadowland. He wondered if it was at all possible to have sex there. He didn't see why not, if you were a shifter you could go there, touch other shifters there. So if they could touch, why not have sex? Sighing again Paul flung the mug into the dish rack and went into his study.

He turned on his computer and checked his e-mail quickly, leaving a lot to read at the office. Three were from former girl friends all wanting to get back together or just hook up sometime. Two were from porn sites, which he deleted. His thoughts of Suze would be dirtier than anything that the Internet would have to offer.

Getting up, Paul re-wrapped his towel and walked up to his bedroom. Suze was still sleeping on his bed, her naked chest heaving softly. Paul walked over and kneeled beside the bed watching her. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but at the same time he just wanted to watch her. His eyes gazed over her lips and nose then went to her hair and ears. Gliding down, he stared at her breasts for a considerable amount of time then came over her arms which were peppered with goosebumps. Paul lightly pulled his covers over Suze, who then snuggled into them, making one of the cutest little snorts Paul had ever heard. She was so angelic looking that Paul couldn't believe he had finally had her. It had always been his fantasy and finally he had achieved it. But what if he woke up and all of it was a really good wet dream? Shit, Paul would kill himself if that was the case.

Glancing at his watch, Paul saw that it was time to start getting ready. Quietly, Paul shaved, gelled his hair and got into a suit, stopping more than once every three minutes to stare at Suze still sleeping. Finally, when he was all ready, Paul put on his watch and grabbed the pen and pad he left on his bedside table.

He wrote:

_Simon,_

_Had to go to work, got a company car to come pick me up. Your keys are on the kitchen counter. Help yourself to whatever you like. The code to lock up is 7893, whenever you are ready to leave, or not. I'll be back around 5PM._

_Slater._

Paul re-read his note and felt like it was missing something. He twirled his pen and then sucked it up and added, "I want to see you again soon" after his name. God he was a sucker. He placed the note on the table, clearly visible to Suze whenever she woke up. Taking one last look at her, Paul had to resist the urge to kiss her. He feared that his lips would never be as happy as they had been over the past twelve hours.


	5. The Argument

Chapter 5: The Argument

Suze woke up, and for an instant freaked out, wondering where the hell she was. But then she inhaled and smelled Paul. Hopefully he was around here somewhere; she was in the mood for a quickie. Paul had awakened the sexual vigilante in her who just could not get enough of him. Rolling over in the luxury hotel like bed, Suze found her nose intoxicated with Paul's scent. It washed over her and went deep in, affecting her senses in a way that she hadn't known to be possible. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and then ran her hands down her pliable body. Her body had never been this sexually awake. That fact drove her mad and scared the hell out of her.

_Where the hell is Paul?_ Suze thought quickly, realizing that it had been over five minutes since she had woken. Getting up too quickly from her horizontal state, sent Suze's head spinning. She would need more food soon, or she was going to be one bitchy adulteress. _Fuck_, Suze thought. She had betrayed the one person she loved. What would Jesse think if he ever found out? Would he finally get emotional enough to do something about their crippling relationship? Or would he just brush it off? Which would make her angrier? For some reason, Suze wanted Jesse to find out so that it would re-awaken their relationship. _Maybe he would get violent and kick Paul's ass, blaming it all on him, just like when we were teens._ Suze smiled to herself at the thought of the two of them fighting over her. Ever since marrying Jesse, Suze had gotten loads more attention, but Jesse had always ignored it, only setting his eyes on Suze. In some way, Suze blamed him for everything that had gone wrong with their marriage. But she knew—she just knew that he did the same to her. It was her fault that they couldn't get pregnant. It was her fault they pointlessly bickered. Why couldn't she just give in to being pampered beyond reason?

_I want to live my life, is that so God damn hard to accept?_ Furiously, Suze flipped back the covers and got up. _Where the hell is Paul?_ She thought about screaming out his name, the need to get physical overwhelming her instantaneously. Glancing about the room, Suze spotted a piece of paper with the familiar handwriting on it. Paul's handwriting was just like him, arrogant, self-serving, and god damn gorgeous. Her eyes flipped over the note and then re-read it. He had gone. Ran away from her, ashamed of lying with such a wasted woman. Tearing the note up and throwing it as far away from her as possible, Suze began to well up. Cramming her fingers into fists, Suze willed herself not to cry over something, over someone who was worthless. No one was worth her tears…she was tougher than that.

Walking away from the bed that held so many fleshy memories, Suze stomped downstairs to raid the fridge. She found some leftover pizza and ate is cold, right in front of the open door. Spotting a beer, she grabbed it and chugged it quickly. After burping, Suze felt sick and began to dry heave. It wasn't the food; it was influx of unfamiliar emotions. _Damn them!_

She grasped the edge of the sink as her naked chest had a fit of spasms. Remembering to breath, Suze fell into a chair nearby and put her head between her knees, which actually worked. Finally feeling stable enough to look up, her eyes fell upon the microwave clock. It was 4:45; only fifteen more minutes and Paul would be back, expecting her to be gone. Would he come in and talk to her, or just stay away from the house until she left? Not wanting to find out, Suze got up and hastened around the house in search of her things. Her dress was the closest, folded neatly upon the kitchen counter, where Paul had fucked her butt naked, still in her wrap around heels. Her underwear was on top of her folded dress, but her bra was missing. Snooping around the kitchen some more, Suze found it haphazardly thrown under the table in the fit of passion that had overcome Paul and Suze last night. Finally she needed to find her shoes and quickly. Running up to the bedroom, Suze hastily shoved the covers up off of the floor and found them hiding under the bed. Before getting onto her knees to grab for them, she slipped on her frilly cheekies but not her dress, worried about tearing it. Then she stretched out her lean arm and groped around for her favorite heels. But the elusive bastards skipped out of her grasp. Worried about the time, Suze got to her stomach and reached. While her fingers wrapped around the first ones' strap, she heard the front door open. _Shit! _She would need to hurry; maybe she could sneak out the window. Reaching again, Suze got the other one, while she heard Paul's footsteps on the stairs. In her haste, Suze snapped her head up too soon, and knocked it on the bottom of the frame. Swearing quietly, Suze got to her knees and realized that she had left the shoe under the bed. Swearing again she retrieved it, her ass stuck out from underneath the bed, her breasts brushing the floor. Before she could wrap her finger around the strap, Paul walked in.

……………

Paul had not expected to see Suze struggling with something underneath the bed, her gorgeous, perfect, tight ass calling to him in those adorable, sexy underwear. He had fully expected her to be in bed, still sleeping. She had to have been wiped out, because he had had a hard time keeping his eyes open while at work doing things that would have been interesting to him any other day, but today had seemed mundane and pointless. All day long, Paul had wanted to be at his house, sleeping next to this gorgeous creature and making love to her over and over again until they collapsed again with exhaustion.

"Suze?" Paul asked, not daring to take a step forward, unless he lost control. Suze quickly withdrew from under the bed, and hit her head on the bottom of the frame.

"Fuck," Suze whispered and Paul laughed while walking over to her. It took all he had in him not to grab her ass and pull it towards the tent erecting in his pants. Instead he grabbed her shoulders softly and pulled her up to her bare feet.

"What _are_ you doing under my bed?"

"I'm trying to get my shoes."

"You're leaving?" Paul asked her, suddenly realizing that she was regretting sleeping with him.

"I thought it would be better that way," she said coldly, grasping one of her wrap-around, fuck me heels in her nimble fingers. Fingers that had held him and made him happier than any other man. _Thinking like that is only going to get me into trouble_, Paul thought quickly, hating himself for letting Suze feel this way about herself.

"I'm sorry," Paul said while stepping away from her, letting his hands fall from her soft-skinned shoulders. His eyes were unable to meet hers. He now felt dirty and worthless. Jesse always won in the end, always.

"You know, you could have just told me that you regretted fucking me when I got up this morning. You really didn't have to drag it on and treat me like I was a whore." Suze spat viciously. "Funny though, I didn't see any money in the note you left."

Paul stared at her in disbelief. She actually thought he regretted sleeping with her, the girl of his dreams. "What?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Slater," Suze nearly screamed while chucking her shoe at him. It hit him in the chest but didn't faze him. "You knew exactly what you were doing, you're a fucking player, and I've always known it. I can't believe I fell for it, even after all that's happened between you and me." Suze shivered but tried to cover it up with a flick of her hair. The movement made her breasts giggle and Paul stepped closer to Suze instinctively.

"Suze," Paul started carefully and kindly, but she slapped him hard on the cheek before he could say anything else. Tears prickled his eyes and his head swam; he had forgotten how strong she was. Paul looked over at Suze, her naked chest heaving and her eyes fogged with anger. Then it shifted violently, and she seized his face and pulled it to hers, capturing his lips within hers, taking his tongue as her own. The kiss was fueled by anger, but it was damn hot. His hands pulled her body closer to his and he lost himself in the power Suze held over his passions.

As quickly as it started, Suze ended it, pulling back and when Paul made to move closer to her, she slapped him again, this time weaker.

"What the hell is your problem, Simon? I fucked you because I wanted to, and you wanted me to. I didn't regret it last night, and I sure as hell didn't regret it this morning. But maybe, I'm thinking I should now, since you're being a crazy bitch."

"W-what?" Suze stammered while stepping back as if to see the big picture Paul was painting for her. Paul looked her in the eyes. Her eyes were clearing of her anger and was replaced with confusion and worry.

"Simon, I do not regret sleeping with you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"So?"

"What?"

"What do you mean, 'what'?" Paul asked trying to keep his temper in check.

"What do you mean, 'so'?" Suze asked while folding her arms in front of her.

"For God sakes!"

"Slater, just shut the hell up and kiss me." Suze said, her eyes daring him to disobey her. He flung himself onto her, pulling her arms around him, his hands grabbing her half-bare ass. She raked her fingers through his hair, loving the feeling of what he was doing with his tongue inside her mouth. Paul's erection pressed into her thigh and Suze pulled away from his mouth. Looking down at her in confusion, Paul reached out for her, but Suze just slipped outside his grasp and climbed onto the bed. He didn't come right away, but instead stood there and gazed at her. His eyes seemed to glaze over her naked body and looked right into her soul. Shuddering, Suze beckoned Paul closer to the bed. He took one step forward and then thought better of it and stepped back.

"What's the matter?" Suze asked him, toying with the hem of her underwear, her fingers close to her crotch, her legs sliding open to allow a peek. Paul did not say a word; he merely unbuttoned his shirt slowly and looked at Suze the whole while. His eyes told her to come to him and she did. Her hands dying to touch him, brushed his shoulders while removing his shirt. Their eye contact remained as her fingers nimbly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Paul removed his shoes and socks, and then they were matching. Standing face to face in nothing but their underwear in Paul's bedroom. Suze was fighting her self-control and she hoped Paul was struggling just as hard as she was. Wanting him too much than she felt comfortable with admitting, Suze finally reached out and brought her lips to his neck. There she kissed her way up to behind his ear and then sucked softly. It had the desired effect; Paul moaned and Suze felt his erection press harder into the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

"Suze," Paul moaned while pulling away from her intoxicating lips. He couldn't think when he kissed him like that and it scared him. She looked up at him, while brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her stare was sultry and sexy. He wanted her again and he knew that she wanted the same. Their lips came crashing into each other's and their bodies became inseparable.

Suze let her fingers drift down Paul's taught chest and stomach. She began to make patterns while Paul demanded her tongue to be his. He led them over to the bed and they fell onto it. Their mouths never parted their sultry embrace. Paul was ready to explode; Suze's fingers found his pounding erection and wrapped her fingers around it gently. Paul pulled back instinctively, but Suze pulled him gently back to her with her one hand. He smiled down at her, his blue eyes dancing in delight.

Pulling away from Suze's lips, Paul's mouth meandered down her stomach, past her hips and down all the way to her toes, where he then kissed each toe and then came back up this time with his hands. When he reached the hem of her panties, he grabbed a hold of them and pulled them slowly down her thighs. Finally, with her panties around her ankles, Paul came back up her legs with his mouth and Suze slipped the undergarment off with a flick of her feet. Paul's mouth came crashing down on hers again and she gasped. He pulled away from her lips, ready to explode, and reached across the bed to the table. Pulling open the drawer he groped for a condom but his fingers found nothing. He seized the box and pulled it out. Shaking it upside down on the bed. Suze was sitting up now, looking inquisitively at Paul. Her mind was fogged with lust and she just wanted Paul rutting into her now. Fucking her like the bad girl that she was.

"Paul? Come on!" She lay back down and groaned while her hand brushed across her own bosom.

"I think we used up all the condoms I had."

Suze sat up so quickly that her head felt fuzzy. "What?"

"We're out of condoms."

"How can you be out?"

"Because you helped me use them."

"Well don't you have like an economy box or something? I mean, the Paul that I knew would be expecting to get laid every night or something, right?"

"Actually, I wasn't expecting something like this. Sex that I actually enjoy seems to use up condoms more than just mediocre sex does."

Suze felt a stab of pride. She provided fun, great sex for Paul; this made her feel like she wasn't being wasted anymore. Like the years of her life had all passed for this one affair with Paul, where they both used each other—a lot. "Well what are we going to do?" She asked while sliding her legs up underneath her butt.

"I don't want to risk it…" Paul says while looking over at Suze, her body tempting him even more now that he realized he couldn't have her when he wanted her.

"Yeah."

"You don't have any?" Paul asked out of desperation.

"No! Jesse buys a three pack maybe once a month. We barely have sex anymore."

Paul's fury rises towards Jesse, wasting this beautiful woman. God knows he doesn't know how to properly make love to her.

"I guess you'll just have to go out and buy more," Suze says while twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.

"We'll go out and get them."

"Paul!" Suze exclaims. "I can't go out with you. Remember, people know me here, and if they see me out buying condoms with someone other than my husband, well, people talk. We never really got out of high school in that aspect of it."

_Fuck,_ Paul knew she was right, but he just wanted this whole affair to suddenly be legit. He wanted Suze for his own taking, any time he wanted her. _Fuck Jesse!_ He thought violently while getting off of the bed and searched for his pants. _Maybe Suze will divorce him and come live with me, where we can fuck anytime we want to. Or maybe they'll just separate and then she won't have to feel guilty while we have fun._ Paul pauses his thoughts while zipping up his pants. Did he want to marry Suze? Or did her merely want to use her like he had always wanted as a teenager? Could he even picture himself marrying someone? If anyone, it would be Suze, he knew no one else would put up with his personality and call him out better than her. He looked over at her, lying on his bed, stark naked, waiting for him. Although he knew this was only temporary, soon she'd go back to Jesse, the man who loved her. And the only thing Paul would have to grasp would be the couple of days they spent together making the best love of his life. The thought was depressing and wouldn't go away.

"You'll be back soon?" Suze asked him. He nodded and slid his shirt over his shoulders. Gathering his shoes and socks he went over to the edge of the bed and sat down. While sliding on his socks, Suze got up off of the bed, wanting to parade around him, to make him move faster. She was ready to go, and he had fucking ran out of condoms. How does one do that? She had certainly never done that before…and man did it feel good to realize that you had really had that much sex. _Whoops,_ was all she could think. Suze glanced over at Paul who was just now putting on his shoes. Walking over to him, she placed her hands on her hips.

"So you gunna take your sweet time then?" She asked sliding into an ornery state.

Paul glanced up the naked body standing in front of him to find Suze's face slightly irritated at the newest occurrence. _Good,_ he thought,_ she wants me badly._ "Maybe."

"What the fuck, Paul?" Anger flared in her voice.

"What?" He looked up, startled at her tone.

"Why the hell aren't you rushing around, trying to get these condoms so we can have some more great, fucking sex?"

"I didn't realize you liked it so much," Paul said, using his lawyer tone that he knew would piss her off into a dimension she hadn't been in since they'd parted ways at eighteen.

"Fuck you, Slater. I cannot believe you. You fuck me just to know that you did and then you mock me."

"I made love to you because I wanted to, and you wanted me to. We've been over this, Simon. I'm taking my time because I want to savor this time with you. I know you've been aching for something like this to come around for you ever since your marriage went south, or at least the sex life did, or lack thereof. But dammit, I've been wanting to be with you ever since I met you all those years ago, and I'm going to take my God-damned time to savor every little feeling. You're making it so hard for me to do that! Just relax for me, babe. We'll get to all of it. I'll do anything you want me to. I just want you. All of you; let me savor you for however long I have you for." Suze stared at him as if he had ten heads. Her embarrassed gaze then slipped down and her mouth turned into a sexy pout.

"Sorry," she mumbled, while standing there, her body tense.

"Don't be sorry," Paul said and stood up to walk over to her. He couldn't touch her without jumping all over her, condoms be damned. So he opted for just coxing her out of her embarrassment with his words. "I am fully aware that our time together is limited and I want to enjoy every second of it, Suze. I know that this whole period will be short lived, much to my dismay; I quite like making love to you every which way I can think of. But you are rushing everything, all the time. You blow up at me and although that is you, sometimes it's unnecessary, especially when not provoked."

Suze remained silent, not being able to get over the words that were spilling out of Paul's mouth. All of it seemed to reek of "I love you, and I want to marry you, keep you forever mine." _Shit_. How had she let this get this out of control? All she had wanted was a quick, delicious lay, but now, emotions, like they almost always do, were mingling where they were not wanted. Suze knew that Paul deserved better than this affair; he deserved a commitment, Suze herself had already made to another man. At the time she had thought this man would make her happy, but she was wrong. Sex was a big part of marriage, and when you didn't have it, well that kind of just exasperated things. Suze was beginning to see that Paul loved her, despite all of her quirks and "stupidness" and marital status. Was she ready to make his lifelong dream come true? Could she walk away from Jesse, the man who had done everything in his power to make her happy, and run into the arms of Paul, the man who had made her teenage years hell, but has given her the best sex in the world? She was so screwed.

"Suze?"

She finally looked up into his blue eyes, eyes that had once scared her, but now looked down at her in not annoyance, but rather concern and…_was that love?_

"Paul, can…could we possibly talk about all this later? I don't want to have this conversation, but I will, later. Promise." Paul's gaze slipped into disappointment and Suze felt her heart shudder despite herself.

"Of course. I'll just go get the condoms." Suze laughed on the inside and said what was exactly on her mind: "Do you really think we need them now?"

"Excuse me?" Paul's eyebrows rose in question.

"It's not like I'm in the mood anymore, and how can you possibly be in the mood when I've totally shot you down?"

Paul considered this, and then other parts of his anatomy added their two cents and he told Suze, "Have you seen what you're wearing, or not wearing?"

Suze grinned and twirled sexily around him, all of her worries suddenly vanished with Paul's words. Seeing her happy again, and not stressing out about her future made Paul happier than he had been in a long time. Giving someone the chance to be happy, especially someone who meant so much to him, gave Paul a feeling of a some sort of Good Samaritan or something. It was a feeling he had never felt before.

"I think you should leave before I can't keep my hands off of you anymore." And with that Paul left in a hurry for the nearest drugstore.


	6. The Infatuation

Chapter 6: The Infatuation

The Rite Aid was just down the street and as Paul pulled into a parking space, he was on the lookout, the lookout for Jesse. He had already thought he had seen him twice: once walking on the sidewalk and another in a piece-of-shit-car at a stoplight. His nerves were turning him into a jittery mess. His eyes were darting like he was getting ready to steal something and the girl at the counter gave him a funny look while he walked in.

Paul had a general idea of where the condoms were, but he took his time searching for them, going up and down all the aisles, in a pseudo-search. Finally he came to the right place and stood there, smothered in his embarrassment, like he was some sort of teenager getting laid for the first time. Looking at all the fucking choices Corporate America had given him, Paul finally decided on the biggest box of condoms that promised both partners would find pleasure in its use. He made his way to the counter to checkout. While walking up the aisles, he thought he saw Jesse again and dodged out of the way as an attempt to hide himself, from someone he knew was not there. Things were getting to him. He was freaking himself out. _Better just get home, with the box of condoms, and make sweet, sweet love to Suze before she leaves me._

He finally made his way up to the counter, stood in line for what seemed like an eternity and paid for his humungous box of condoms. Getting out of the suffocating store made him feel a little better, but not by much. He concluded, while getting into his car, that the only thing that would make him feel better was kissing Suze's luscious lips greedily. Making his way home, Paul could feel the tension in his muscles building. This go around would be harder to pull away from. Their future, or lack thereof, would be in the back of his mind coaxing him to make an ass out of himself and propose something ridiculous to the woman he now realized he loved. _Does she know that I love her? Has she somehow figured it out, from my ranting back in my room before I left? What if she did realize it before me and totally skipped out? What if I go home to find an empty house and an empty bed? Fuck, fuck, fuck. I've fucked myself so badly. I'll never win. Never, not when I'm up against Jesse and the prize is Suze. Never. But then again, Suze isn't a prize, she's a human being, and she'll make her own decisions, hopefully which will gravitate towards being with me and dumping that good-for-nothing husband of hers._

He pulled into his driveway and parked the car. Snatching the bag, he popped out of the seat and sprinted into the house, his hunger for Suze suddenly begging him to hurry his ass up. As he tumbled into the house, he heard music playing softly from upstairs. There was a fabulous smell filling his nostrils, which led him up to his room, where the music grew louder. The bag was still clutched in his hand when he fell into the room, where Suze was waiting for him, on the edge of his bed naked except for two dollops of whipped crème.

His mouth was already salivating from just looking at her for mere moments. Her body was lean and smooth and silky. It was enticing from across the room, her eyes and breasts calling him to her.

"Why don't you come over here, Slater?" He didn't hesitate; instead he stumbled across the room, randomly removing various articles of clothing on his way. His eyes hadn't left her body; all previous thoughts seemed to vanish since the moment he had stepped through the door. He placed the bag beside her, while his hands shook eager to touch her sultry skin. "You want to touch?" She asked while brushing some hair out of her face.

Paul nodded dumbly as a response, unable to coherently form a verbal one. He had seen her naked for over twenty-four hours, but her body seemed exotic, forbidden and supple. She was the epitome of beauty. She was his Aphrodite. She was the only woman he knew he could ever want.

Suze loved the way Paul stared at her. She knew that he found her beautiful, groveling worthy even. But what he didn't realize was that he was even _more_ scrumptious. His naked chest heaved, his pupils were wide, and his mouth hung agape. She took one of his hands and pressed it to her mouth, letting her mouth slide around one of his fingers. With a simple kiss, she felt his body tense. With her free hand, Suze opened the box of condoms and slipped one out, before shoving the box off of the bed. While kissing her way up his arm, Suze free hands came to Paul's waist, where his boxers rested. Her soft fingertips brushed against the hard, smooth planes of Paul's lower abdomen. _God,_ she thought while twirling her tongue around his finger, _he's so sexy._

Paul's hand was on fire; Suze was making him hard from just a simple flick of her tongue. _Fuck me…!_ Paul groaned as Suze slipped his finger out of her mouth and pulled his mouth to hers. They met with both surprise and comfort. They knew each other enough by now to know which way to go, but not enough to allow for some surprises. Suze's breath caught in her throat when Paul's tongue ducked out of her mouth and caught her nose. She was sure it was an accident, but it had felt so good. Lying back, Suze pulled Paul on top of her. His head hovered above hers, his lips taunting her.

"Slater."

"Simon."

Their names hung in the air as their bodies touched everywhere. The contact was so intimate that it made Suze want to burst with pleasure, while Paul couldn't wait to sink into her. Finally, his lips came down on Suze's whipped crème covered nipples and softly sucked them. Bucking hard off of the bed, caught by surprise, Suze moaned and clutched Paul's hair roughly. He took one of her nipples with his teeth, gently grazing them. It was enough to fuel her fire for the rest of her life. Paul used Suze's distraction to roam his hand down between her legs. He danced over her inner thighs undetected, until he gently opened her with his fingers and her head snapped up off of the bed. Paul looked at her; her eyes were wide and foggy with pleasure.

"Oh my God," she moaned as Paul's fingers began to sink into her slowly. His mouth was still circling her breast, nipping at the underside of them and sucking on her nipples. The sensitive skin in both areas were screaming for more, for closure, to stop being taunted, but at the same time wanting more.

Suze could barely register all the wonderful, passionate sensations that were ripping through her all too quickly. Her moans were bleeding together and the screams of passion for more came quicker and quicker, until with Paul's fingers working their magic and his tongue dancing across her skin, she came. Her legs wrapped around Paul and her hands dug into his hair as if she was holding on for the ride of her life. Paul continued to work his fingers around her detonator, milking her orgasm for all it was worth. Her head lolled back on the comforter as the last of the waves washed over her, then with the final crash, Paul's lips came down upon hers.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear after settling down.

Paul was pleasantly shocked. Never had he been such a giving lover, but he wasn't expecting a "thank you". Suze would continue to shock him over the years, no doubt.

"You're welcome."

"I think it's your turn, now."

"Oh, really?"

"Yup."

"So, what did you have in mind?"

"Well," Suze said with a smirk on her lips, and then she flipped him over without notice. Her legs straddled his sides and her heat throbbed against his lower abdomen. _Where the hell are the condoms?_

Paul wanted to search around the room, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Suze. The setting sun streaming through the window shades dusted her beautiful features, emphasizing the size of her breasts and the gleam in her eyes. Then he heard a ripping and realized that Suze already had one.

"Don't you come prepared?" Paul cracked and beamed up at her. Suze merely smirked down at him.

"I know a boy scout."

"Oh, do you now?" Suze nodded her head and then lowered her hands to slide the condom onto Paul. The slight touch of her fingers on him made him shudder. God, he had been ready for a while now.

Suze looked down at Paul, asking if he was ready. Then she rose and came down slowly on him, being careful not to crush him. She placed her opened palms on his chest and began to find her rhythm. Watching her rise and fall, engorging him with her intense heat, made the sensations even more powerful. He staved off his orgasm for as long as he could just to watch her. Her pants mixed with moans slipping out of her pouty mouth were damn sexy. Paul just wanted to be able to do this for the rest of his life. Then it was unbearable to hold off and Paul clutched Suze's hips with his hands and came, rip-roaringly.

His breath quickened as Suze herself came on top of him and her eyes widened and met with his. She quickly collapsed on top of him, with him still within her. Holding her and never wanting to let her go, Paul stared at the top of her head. Suze heaved a little with a hiccup. He pulled her face towards his and found that there were tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Suze?"

"Paul, I love you."

His eyes widened in surprise. Hell, he hadn't been expecting that sort of token of appreciation. _Damn._

"Suze, I love you." It seemed like the only thing he could bring himself to say. Getting into all the gory details would ruin the beautiful moment they were sharing. And what better time to tell her his true feelings without making her feel awkward? They fell asleep in each other's arms.


	7. The Revelation

Chapter 7: The Revelation

Suze got up as the morning sun streamed across her face. Her dream had been too good to leave, but the sun had been warming her, calling to her. She didn't open her eyes, just felt the sun on her face and heard Paul's soft snores rise and fall. She could feel him near her. Opening her eyes little by little, Suze saw that Paul's head was resting on the bed next to hers, his face positioned towards her. She studied the details of his peaceful, gorgeous face. As her eyes slipped from his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose to his lips, the memories of the night before flooded her.

_Oh God,_ she thought, _did I really say, "I love you" last night?_ Her mind throbbed at the idea, but her heart fluttered nervously. There was something very wrong here.

"Good morning," Paul whispered, his eyes still closed. Suze snapped out of her thoughts.

"Good morning," Suze smiled, not being able to help herself. Then she leaned over the small space between them and rested her lips onto his softly. Her eyes slipped closed, while Paul reacted hungrily. His hand came to her back pulling her towards him. Her chest collided with his and her fingers came up to dance on his neck.

"You taste so good, Suze."

"You're not too bad yourself, Paul."

Paul kissed her again, this time lolling his tongue into her chasm and rolling it about deliciously. Suze moaned and ran her fingers through Paul's unkempt hair.

Pulling away, her voice was hoarse when she spoke, "God, I love it when you do that."

"I love doing that," Paul retorted and pulled her in for more. When Paul finished kissing Suze, he rested his head on her bare chest, cuddling into her. She held him close; her constant warmth made him feel safe.

Suze thought of how this, being in Paul's arms, reminded her of home. Here, she felt safe and comfortable, but there was some place else. Her heart belonged home. _Jesse._ Guilt suddenly racked Suze, overwhelming her to the extent of making her gasp aloud. Paul tilted his head up and asked if she was okay. Nodding, her thoughts thousands of miles away, Suze pulled away from Paul and excused herself into the bathroom.

Clutching the bathroom counter, Suze leaned over and stared at the reflection before her. She looked younger, more radiant, but her eyes looked tired. Her awakened body was now worn out. Enough was enough. She had to go back to Jesse. She loved him. The words she had said to Paul had been empty; she almost hated herself for leading him on once again. Sitting down on the toilet, Suze put her head into her hands. Paul had made her realize something about her relationship with Jesse. She loved him. She would always love him and no one else. With Paul she felt like he ripped her admiration and infatuation out of her with physical actions, but with Jesse he didn't have to do anything and Suze would love him forever.

_Sure things have been pretty crappy, but I'm not going to just keep everything to myself anymore. I'm going to have to talk to Jesse about how I feel. He loves me and will do anything for me. He'll listen and love me regardless, just like how I love him. I love him. Paul has made me realize that I love my husband. I always have, always will. _

_What on earth do I tell Paul?_

Suze got up and poked her head out of the bathroom. Paul was asleep; his arms were sprawled out across the bed. She quickly crawled out and collected her things, bringing them into the bathroom. Suze turned on the water for the shower and locked the bathroom door. She knew that if she weren't dressed and ready to go when she confronted Paul, she would end up sleeping with him again. Paul was attractive and he knew it. He loved Suze, and she knew that he would inevitably do anything when he felt it all slipping out of his control.

She stepped into the steamy water and began scrubbing off her body. Sure, she had had fun these past hours with Paul, feeling young again, reckless even. But now it was time to come back to the real world. She loved Jesse, not Paul. It was just something he was going to have to live with. Resting her forehead against the cool tiles, she could feel her reasonable side battling with her passionate side. She loved having sex with Paul. He made her feel outstanding. If only it could be Jesse who made her feel that way…

_Would he be open to working on our sexual relationship?_ Suze got out of the shower and dressed herself. She looked at herself at last in the mirror and saw the guilt in her eyes. How would Jesse react if she told him? Will she tell him? How could she possibly bring it up to him? Would she just flat out tell him about her affair? Or would she ignore it and fall back into her life with Jesse?

Suze touched her lips and saw Jesse's loving face flash before her. That was it. She was going to do this. She wrapped up her shoes and walked out of the bathroom confidently. Walking over to the bed, she figured talking this out rationally was the best way. She didn't dare touch him, in case her lust took over her body.

"Paul?" Suze called quickly. He stirred at the sound of her voice and opened his eyes slowly.

"Ready for another?" He whispered. Then he saw that she was dressed and he propped himself up on his elbow. Looking at her questioningly, Paul's gaze traveled from her furrowed brow to her breasts to her thighs. His gaze was getting her hot, but Suze had to think of Jesse and her future with him, her husband.

"Paul."

"What's going on, Suze?"

"I can't stay with you—"

"Yes, yes you can!" Paul called out desperately. "Of course you can! You can leave Jesse and live with me! I'll make love to you every night. Suze, I know you love me. Come on."

"Paul, last night…all of this, was exceptionally beautiful, but wrong. I love Jesse, always have, always will. There is nothing you can do to change how I feel. You can't buy my love, either with flowers or sex. I'm glad we got to spend this time together. You are a wonderful lover and an amazing person. I just don't love you. I love Jesse."

"Why? He doesn't love you enough to let you be free!" Paul's voice was rising; Suze could tell that if she didn't settle this soon, things were going to get out of hand.

_How could she be doing this to me? She fucking told me she loved me last night! And now she's being "rational", trying to fool me into thinking that she loves Jesse. De Silva doesn't even treat her like she's a real person. I just know that to him she's like a dog…something to lead and command. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! How could this be happening? Things were finally in my favor._

"I love Jesse." Suze repeated. She could feel her defenses slipping. His anger was arousing her. She could just tell that he would taste forbidden right now. _Shit, Suze! Get your head around the fact that you cannot sleep with Paul! Jesse is your husband; you've already made too many mistakes._

"No you don't! You love me! How can you not?"

"Now you're just being irrational."

"Irrational? Me? Suze, I'm a lawyer, rational is my middle name."

"Well that right there just proves my point," Suze said snidely, realizing too late that it was the wrong thing to say.

Paul's hand shot out and covered her mouth so quickly, she didn't even have time to pull away.

"You're a whore." He clamped his hand harder around her mouth, his other hand coming up behind her head to hold her in place. Suze began to fight back, but then realized that she was not as strong as she used to be, and Paul could dominate her if he wanted to. _Shit._ She decided to outsmart him instead. She relaxed and gave into him. Gliding her hands down his outstretched arms, Suze murmured something and licked the palm of his hand.

Paul's pupils dilated in anticipation. She was giving into him. He knew she loved him. She had finally come to her senses. Paul moved in to kiss Suze, but suddenly she stopped him and punched him right in his crotch. Yelling out in pain, Paul vaguely saw Suze run to the door.

"I could never love you, Paul." Then she was gone.

**AN**: Sorry Paul lovers…


	8. Epilogue: The Test

Epilogue: The Test 

Jesse placed the box in Suze's outstretched hand. Offering her one last smile, he closed the bathroom door. Suze sat down on the toilet and slowly opened the box. Her hands were shaking. She knew this time was different. It had been two weeks since her period was due. She was pregnant, she just knew it. She had to be. Being pregnant would make everything in her life _golden_. With Jesse's child growing inside her, their love would be unlimited. It had to be Jesse's. It was impossible for her child to be Paul's…wasn't it?

She didn't even want to think about that possibility. It would be horrible if it turned out to be Paul's. Jesse would be outraged, and Paul, no doubt, would want to help Suze raise it. Like she would let him anywhere near her child. Paul's temper would not be the best with a crying baby in the equation.

_It's Jesse's._ Suze told herself with decisiveness. She read the directions on the box, even though she knew them by heart. She was stalling. But why?

Finally, after going through the directions about three times, Suze decided it was time. She couldn't keep Jesse waiting forever. He had been waiting far too long for her to become pregnant. She knew she was, but Jesse needed the finality of the little plus sign on the stick.

After following the directions she knew by heart, Suze zipped up her pants and washed her hands while trying not to look at the stick. It was sitting there on the counter, cogitating over the chemicals.

Suze hated it.

It sat there mocking her somehow. She just knew it couldn't possibly take this long to establish her pregnancy. A couple minutes passed and Suze still didn't have the nerve to check the stick. The stick didn't need more time, she did.

There was a sharp rap on the door and Jesse's voice filtered through.

"Susannah? Are you alright in there?"

She couldn't find the voice to respond.

"Susannah?" Jesse's voice was more urgent. Then he knocked again. "I'm coming in."

Suze slumped against the wall and stared at the overturned stick. Jesse opened the door and looked at her inquisitively.

"Susannah, what is the matter?" Jesse walked towards her, but didn't dare to touch her. "Is everything alright?"

She couldn't answer him. She just couldn't stand the guilt drowning her for cheating on him. Suze had ruined the best thing she had ever had. But for some ungodly reason she didn't regret sleeping with Paul. She felt guilty about it sure, because she couldn't bear to tell Jesse. But she couldn't regret something that made her realize that she truly loved her husband. It was unbearable that that something held the potential to tear apart her happiness.

_Fuck._

Jesse turned to the counter and plucked the stick from the counter. Turning it over in his hand, he looked from Suze's absent stare to the stick. Finally he read it and his head snapped up to Suze's gaze. The stick fell out of his hands.

At that moment, time seemed to freeze for Suze. Her first thought was completely irrational: somehow the stick had revealed her indiscretion with Paul. Then thoughts of the result being negative overpowered her. She wasn't sure if she could survive it being negative again. Suze wouldn't be able to stand the disappointment in Jesse's avoiding gaze again and again.

Then before she could register it, Jesse's arms were wrapping themselves around her and he was whispering in her ear.

"_Querida_, I am so incredibly happy. You are indeed pregnant, _querida_. I love you so much. I cannot wait to be a father for our child. I know you will be such a wonderful mother. Oh _Querida_, this is such a spectacular day."

The information seemed to overwhelm Suze. She was pregnant and Jesse was happy. He was calling her _querida_ again. He loved her again.

"I love you Jesse," Suze whispered into his ear and hugged him back.

"I love you." Jesse said while running his fingers through her hair.

"When do you want to book our appointment with Dr. Ikle?" Suze asked.

"I'll call tomorrow; I'm sure she has left for today," Jesse answered softly; his lips grazed the side of her neck. It made Suze feel comfort. She finally felt at home in his strong arms.

"What do you want to do now?"

"I could think of a few things."

Suddenly, Suze's thoughts flashed to Paul above her, sweaty and panting, pumping in and out of her. Her heart pounded with guilt. She wondered if Jesse wanted to have sex to celebrate. It didn't seem like him…

"Like what?"

"How about we go baby shopping?"

A weight lifted from Suze's shoulders. "Really?" she asked while pulling away from him to look into his eyes.

"Yes, _querida_. I think we can pick up a couple of things for our new child." He placed his hand upon her lower abdomen and rested it there for a moment, as if trying to feel the two-month-old fetus wiggling around. Suze knew enough to know that it wasn't big enough yet to make any difference. However, it was big enough to make her throw up in the mornings. Stupid morning sickness…the things boys never have to go through.

"Why don't you collect your things and we can make a trip to the mall?" Jesse took his hand away from her stomach.

"Sure." With that, Jesse leaned in and kissed Suze softly on the lips.

"I love you so very much, Susannah."

"I love you too."


End file.
